When our child.. doesn’t eat

Many of us parents are obsessed with the subject of food, as if we fear that if the child skips a meal something serious will happen. The image of the mother chasing the child with the spoon – while the child is busy doing something else, e.g. being in the playground – is a common and unsurprising pattern. Many children refuse to eat without being entertained in some way while eating. We parents do a lot of hard work to achieve the obvious, very simply, to provide food for our children. When did such a natural and enjoyable habit become so difficult? That of food? 

The latest research concerning the pressure we put on our children to eat at a young age shows that the effects on their lives years later are quite serious. In addition to the fact that the child can be led to have a bad relationship with food, the practice can even have negative effects on our relationship with our children, not only in the present but also longterm [Julie C. Lumeng, Picky eating, pressuring feeding, and growth in toddlers – April 2018]. 

Hopefully, there is a very simple solution that can solve the problem within days for any parent who has complaints about their children’s food intake. Because there is a natural consequence that no one can overcome, not even our charismatic children: if you don’t eat, you will starve. 

So what we need to do, instead of trying to think of a thousand ways to feed a child, is to help our kids get hungry. A hungry child is ready to eat almost anything to satisfy their hunger, which is immediately seen in the children who eat at school. After a morning full of pleasant activities, at lunch time the school children do not eat the food that is available just because the other children are eating it too, but because they are hungry. 

Why do we fail to make our children hungry at home? Because we usually have a thousand and two other things that they can nibble on instead of food and thus satisfy their hunger. So many children grow up nibbling on crackers, cheese, yogurt, toast, chips, but also sweets, chocolates, candies, ice creams, etc. Also, because nibbling doesn’t necessarily fill the stomach, they end up nibbling non-stop, without allowing their stomach to rest. 

This affects their weight, their mood, their normal development, and even the health of their teeth. So, try to set some rules around food suitable for your own family and let the children slowly adapt to them. Without any pressure and stress. 

The main meals should be set at fixed times and if you want to plan for a snack, it should also have specific time, contain a reasonable amount of food, and be planned for a time that does not reduce the child’s appetite for the main meal. Even chocolate and cookies have their place in a child’s diet, and can be offered after the meal as dessert or between meals. But they should not replace the main meal. 

If you find it difficult to control your children’s food consumption of processed and unhealthy foods, you will find that it is especially helpful, instead of having to deny them to your child each one of the 25 times a day that they ask you to nibble on something of this type, simply ensure they are not available at home. So, reduce your supermarket purchases of such foods as much as you can and help the whole family – even you! – to significantly improve your diet.