What is Controlling Parenting?

Punishment, time-outs, screaming etc., are sometimes thought of as a short-term solution to behavior management, however, it has negative long-term impacts. Studies have repeatedly shown that punishment can result in:

• Higher Aggression levels: Punishment by physical means encourages kids to resort to violence as a solution to issues.

• Low Self-Esteem: Punished children may experience low self-esteem due to feelings of unworthiness and unlove.

• Dishonesty: Lying and hiding one’s true intentions might be caused by a fear of punishment.

• Ineffective Emotional Regulation: Punishment can impede children’s ability to develop emotionally, making it challenging for them to appropriately control their emotions.

Controlling parenting can be helpful in the short term, but it often impedes a child’s emotional and psychological development. Some typical controlling reactions and their results are as follows:

• Not appropriate Behavior: Parents frequently intimidate or chastise, creating a sense of fear. Children may respond appropriately to this out of fear rather than comprehension.
• Anger: Punishing outrage can make kids repress their feelings, which can lead to uncontrollably high levels of worry and fury.
• Emotions: Dismissing or ignoring feelings instills in kids the habit of suppressing their emotions, which can cause problems with self-control.
• Developing ideals: Instead of forming true moral ideals, children could learn how to escape punishment.
• Life Skills: Giving or receiving punishment can lead to power disputes and an attempt to “game” the system.
• Making Decisions: Allowing youngsters to make decisions restricts their capacity to learn from decisions and their outcomes.
• Privacy: Encroaching on someone else’s space can undermine trust and stifle a child’s independence.
• Self-Motivation: If children are not given the opportunity to become independent and self-motivated, they may revolt. 

The goal of coaching parenting is to help kids navigate their feelings and actions with compassion and decency. This method entails taking the child’s viewpoint into consideration, acknowledging their emotions, and assisting them in becoming more emotionally intelligent and self-disciplined.

• Not appropriate Behavior: Establish unambiguous boundaries while demonstrating empathy to enable kids to make better decisions and cultivate self-control.
• Anger: Acknowledge children’s feelings of anger, support them in expressing it, and teach them healthy coping mechanisms.
• Emotions: Work through the child’s feelings while encouraging resilience and self-control.
• Developing Ideals: Instill a real care for others by teaching empathy and understanding.
• Life Skills: Assist kids in learning how to be cooperative and responsible by providing them with empathy and support.
• Making decisions: Encourage kids to make decisions as a means of promoting their independence and analytical abilities.
• Privacy: Acknowledge kids’ demand for privacy while fostering their sense of independence.
• Self-Motivation: Give kids a sense of empowerment by valuing their uniqueness and encouraging internal motivation.

Children who receive emotion coaching are better able to regulate their emotions and behaviors. For instance, talking about the issue and expressing one’s anger to a child can help them learn to control and comprehend their feelings. This method teaches kids important life skills and fosters trust.

The emotional and behavioral results of children can be greatly improved by switching from controlling to coaching parenting. Parents can create a loving, polite, and emotionally intelligent environment by emphasizing empathy, understanding, and emotional coaching. This method not only assists in handling urgent disputes but also gives them lifelong skills for emotional well-being and wholesome interpersonal interactions.

Parents who choose coaching parenting can help their kids develop into self-assured, self-reliant, and emotionally strong adults, which will improve and enhance family relationships.