13 August 2024
Tantrums
Reading time: 2′
A very difficult and uncomfortable moment that every parent experiences is when their child has an outburst of anger, whether it is at home or outside, whether it is in the morning before school or during the night.
It is common and more frequent in younger children, after the first year of life, it escalates quite a bit at 2-3 and slowly subsides after 4. There are of course exceptions, children who at this age do not have such strong outbreaks and children who continue this behavior even at a much older age, maybe because they haven’t learned to manage their emotions, maybe we haven’t taught them that either.
The prefrontal lobe, which is responsible for regulating our reactions and emotions, has not yet developed, so anger is expressed unfiltered and strongly.
Outbursts of anger or tantrums are usually quite intense and short-lived and with appropriate treatment they quickly subside. But there are also meltdowns or emotional breakdowns that are much more intense, last longer and many times the child, from so much tension, can even fall asleep. It also happens many times when the child is faced with many stimuli. Tantrums may hide a need behind, hunger, thirst, fatigue, a cold.
How to handle it
It is very important so as to face such a condition to remain calm. Thus, the child will have a proper role model to emulate to learn self-regulation. If we are outside, we try to ignore those around us, and focus on our child. There is no reason to worry if they look at us or give us advice. So we become the observers of our child and try to see what is happening. We always speak to him/her in a soft voice and touch him/her only if he/she wants to. We don’t leave it alone, even if it asks us to. It is important to be by his side so that he is not left alone with his anger.Only, if it’s an older child, it might make sense to be alone for a while to calm down, but then we’ll always bring the conversation back to understand and process the child’s anger. And of course, our key is empathy! We understand and sympathize with our child, even if what he is trying to do, sounds ridiculous to us. This is the only way we can manage difficult situations and secure our relationship with the child.
The most hopeful message was remained for last. IT WILL NOT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS! The child will grow up and manage all these stressful situations on their own.