Roughhousing: a wonderful way to connect directly with our child

Essentially, it is a direct way to make our child burst into laughter. It can be chase, the airplane, the horse, twirling the child on the sofa, anything that we know makes our child laugh out loud. We avoid tickling because it works differently in the child’s brain and even though he is laughing, he can also feel trapped. If the child insists on tickling, we can pretend to attempt tickle them, but without actually touching them. The child will start laughing just at the possibility of getting tickled. 

For older children, over 9-10 years old, it’s a little harder to implement, but there are ways. The pillow fight is something that even older children like. 

We also let the children do it with each other ensuring their safety to avoid injuries. 

Its duration ranges from 1 to 10 minutes. 

Our goal is to cause intense laughter. Laughter changes the physiology of our body. During laughter, oxytocin, the hormone of love and connection, is released in our body, and stress hormones decrease. Thus, stress is instantly eliminated. Of course, our ultimate goal is to strengthen our relationship with our child. 

Physical movement, too, is very important for processing emotions, and combined with the intensity of the moment, helps our child manage aggression, which will be very useful during their moments of anger. 

Parents express concern that someone may be hurt or the game end in tears and sadness. To avoid this, we should ensure our physical and psychological safety. 

• We control risk and try to be proactive. This approach may not be objectively dangerous, but our sense of insecurity may lead us to perceive it as such. We must evaluate this and may need to make some minor changes, such as putting an exercise mat under the bed in case someone trips and falls. 
• Crying is always welcome. In fact, the release and relief offered by laughter is a way for the child to process some difficult feelings that they have accumulated, and which until now they avoided processing because may be painful. In this case, after the game has cooled down, the time has come for the child to release their emotional load. So we take the opportunity to help them manage their big emotions by staying close and supportive until they feel better. 

Any time during the day is suitable, except late at night before bed. At that moment is the time when children should be in a relaxation phase to make it easier to go to bed.