21 December 2023
A First Conversation with Your Child About Sex [Prior to the start of first grade]
Reading time: 2′
By the time your child is six years old, they may have already asked you some questions about sex.
Before your child starts first grade, it’s a good idea to have a first conversation with them about sex. At school, they will enter a new environment where they will encounter not only children of their own age but also older ones. They may hear something about sex that could be confusing if they have not already received some basic information.
How do you talk to a 5-6-year-old about sex?
Books about the human body for these age groups are a great starting point. They are designed to convey the message appropriately and help avoid potential mistakes that might confuse the child.
However, the child will have some questions, and it is important to be prepared to answer them. If we are caught off guard and react intensely as if sex is a taboo topic, the child may feel guilty and think they did something wrong. This is something we want to avoid because it could make them afraid to ask questions in the future. We aim to keep an open line of communication, especially about topics like sex and sexuality.
It is perfectly acceptable to tell them that babies come from an act of love between parents called “making love” or sex, where the sperm (multiple seeds) from the father’s body meets an egg in the mother’s body, the ovum. If they ask, we can also explain how the sperm enters the mother’s body. We can describe the process using either the official terms for body parts or the terms the child is familiar with.
Additionally, we can mention that this is not the only way for a baby to be born; there are other methods too.
It’s important to tell the child that sex is something only adults do. It’s not wrong to tell them that it’s not only done to make a baby but also to feel close to each other as an expression of love and for enjoyment.
If the child stops asking questions, there is no need to overload them with too much information, which might tire them out. Conversations about sex will happen often as the child grows and wants to know more. This way, they will learn that it is a normal part of life. To make them feel comfortable, we can tell them that this is a topic they can always ask us about whenever they have questions.
The reason it is important to answer their questions willingly and not discourage them is that we want them to know they can always come to us with anything they want to learn. So, we try to maintain a positive or at least neutral attitude – after all, a child this age doesn’t yet understand that topics related to sex might make us uncomfortable.
If we don’t know how to answer something they ask, we can buy some time by saying, “That’s a very good question – I’ll look into it and get back to you later, okay?”
When we are ready to answer, we should not forget to bring up the topic again.
Informing children about sex in an age-appropriate way leads to more responsible sexual behavior as they grow older. So start early, speak honestly, and show your child that their questions are always welcome.