12 December 2023
Only with constant encouragement is children’s self-confidence built
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Self-confidence is one of the most important bases for our path in life. Without self-confidence we cannot have the courage, boldness, and confidence to move forward in our professional and personal lives.
Most of the mistakes we make or have made in the past are usually made in times of low self-confidence. Believing in ourselves pushes us to be right towards other people and at the same time to stay true to ourselves and our beliefs. Any adult can understand this.
That is why when we become parents, one of the biggest challenges is to manage to encourage our children on their way to adulthood and to endow them with self-confidence. Unwittingly, we often do the exact opposite.
When our child does a harm we get angry, or argue with him. When he does something that is not acceptable we punish him or criticize him. Thinking that our child is not capable of something, we discourage him from trying, often abruptly and explicitly.
When the baby reaches for the spoon, we take it from his hand and feed him
When our child breaks a piece of glass, we scold him to ‘learn’ to be careful with sensitive objects, or we remove anything from him that we think he can’t handle.
How wonderful is the courage of a child!
Even though he hasn’t acquired the necessary skills, he tries again and again to experiment with everything and learn on his own all the things that the adults do. The adults who seem like magicians, who are capable of everything and know everything. Large giants that cannot be compared anywhere.
Imagine what you would do if everyone around you was bigger, better and more capable than you.
It’s quite possible that after a while you’ll give up and decide you can’t compete with them. But not the children! The kids don’t put it down. They continue to strive against every obstacle and fight by every means to gain their independence.
The importance of encouragement
The importance of encouragement
We don’t need to say much about the importance of encouragement. It is the best path for our children’s education and their future physical and mental health. Our role as parents is not to control and limit our children, but to help them every step of the way to become self-sufficient.To be able to serve themselves, to learn to think for themselves and to solve problems, to mature emotionally without us imposing any personal position on them.
How can we encourage our children?
Children are natural observers. They see adults and start imitating them before they are even 12 months old. The best way we can encourage good behaviors is to adopt them ourselves. To act as an example to follow for our children.No sermon or instruction can be compared to the power of example, not even the sayings ‘do what I say and not what you see’. If for example we tell them not to fight and at the same time we fight with our partner, it is natural that our words are just airs.
In small, seemingly small incidents, it is useless to make our children feel bad. When a young child does harm unintentionally and we get angry, we undermine their sense of self-worth. Broke a glass?It is much easier to replace it than to restore our child’s broken self-confidence. When a child receives constant criticism for his – naturally – childish behavior, he does not think that what he did was wrong but that he himself is unworthy. No child is unworthy!
Once the damage is done, try to keep your cool. Look the child in the eye (you will see a look of deep disappointment) and tell them NOT TO Tease. Help him repair the damage and teach him that when a problem arises, it’s about finding a way to deal with it and nothing else.This method will help the child later in life when he faces a problem not to get frustrated but to try to overcome it. Focus on the solution and not the problem.
Finally, give the child the opportunity to try. Once you see a baby making the move to grab the spoon, they are probably ready to eat on their own. Put him in a good bib, use a plastic plate that won’t break if dropped, and let him try.When he manages to eat his first bite, the look of absolute satisfaction on his little face and the sincere, deep smile will be remembered for a lifetime.
This is how children’s self-confidence is built. With constant encouragement, with love and forgiveness for mistakes, with respect for the child.