3 July 2024
When our child asks us to pick him up from camp
Reading time: 3′
It is very reasonable for our child to feel uncomfortable the first time he is away from us for a few days with people he does not know.
We all feel uncomfortable in new situations where we don’t know exactly what to expect. On the other hand, it is precisely these situations that help us enrich our lives and mature. And because parents know this, we want to offer our children similar experiences.
Often, the first time children encounter such an experience is at summer camp. But whether they have gone with joy or with reluctance, there is always the chance that they will feel anxious and anxious in the first few days and ask us to leave. What can we do to help our children overcome these initial misgivings and give a chance to a potential life experience?
Listen to the child
When you communicate with the child and he expresses his dissatisfaction, listen to him. Show understanding: ‘Yes, it must have been very difficult the first day you were away from home at night… were you stressed?’Ah, now I understand! You were looking for your flashlight and worried you might not find the toilet.”Wonder how the time will pass huh? Yes, I understood. You already seem too big!’ Just listen to it, acknowledge its difficulty, let it speak without suggesting solutions.In everything you say, pause for him to tell you what he wants. When we have been heard, we can work through what scares us and find the solutions ourselves, and at the same time, we immediately feel better, because we feel that we have someone close to us who understands us.
Encourage it
Say: ‘We all feel uncomfortable in a new situation. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way.”’It might be hard, but can I tell you something? We can do hard things.’ ‘You’ll make it, you’ll see.’
Explore his fears
Yes, I understand that this worries you. What is the worst that could happen?’ ‘If such and such happened to you, what could you do?’ Discuss.
In its smallest victory, praise it
How nice that you played football today and they told you that you are good! You should be very proud of yourself.” ‘Did you see how you managed to do everything so well? You brushed your teeth, made the bed in the morning, well done. It is not simple to do all this without us being there to remind you.’
Remind him of past victories
Remember that time you didn’t want to go on the field trip at all? And you finally came back excited!’ ‘You just wanted some time.’ ‘Do you remember how you met your friend Niko? You had talked to him once randomly and then played for a while. And now you are such good friends!’
Talk to the team leaders
Investigate whether the dissatisfaction is generalized, or if the child expresses it only to you. Often, children communicate the negative to us and leave out the positive. It is the time when they can express all the stress and difficulty they have experienced in these first days. The team leaders will help you understand if there really is a reason to take it from the camp.
Avoid telling your child that you will take it
If the child expects that in a few days we will pick them up, they are just waiting for the time to go away, and they are not making the necessary effort to fit in and feel more comfortable in the space. If you’ve told him you’ll take it, don’t worry. Tell him, ‘We’re not going to pick you up yet, but we want you to tell us how you’re doing every day, okay?’ ‘We look forward to hearing how you’re doing tomorrow.’We’re in touch with your team leader every day to see how you’re doing, and we’ll stay in touch even if you tell us you’re having a good time.’ In short, show the child that you care and that you’re thinking about them in their difficulty, so you can be reassured
If you take the child from the camp
Welcome him with enthusiasm, show him how much you missed him these days. If he expresses any frustration with himself, tell him ‘Honey, you weren’t comfortable and you told us. It doesn’t matter that you left, what matters is that you express what you feel. Next year, you can try again.’The reason you’re going anyway is to have fun, isn’t it?’ It’s important that the child feels fully accepted in their choice as well as having other opportunities to try in the future so that they don’t get discouraged.