21 December 2023
Homework: How to help your child study independently
Reading time: 3′
A well-intentioned parent who helps their child with homework may unintentionally achieve the opposite effect.
Instead of helping, they may contribute to the reasons why the child is not doing well in school.
It is natural to want our children to be good students and to try to do everything we can to help them succeed. However, by studying with them, we might be jeopardizing any hope of that happening.
If, despite our efforts to help our child, they still are not doing well at school, we need to reconsider our approach.
A child who is forced to study with a parent tries every day to prove that no one will force them to do their homework. Thus, as long as joint study sessions continue, the child will keep struggling at school.
A child’s reluctance to study and take responsibility might stem from the pressure exerted by the parent. The more we pressure them, the greater their resistance. No one likes to be forced into something, regardless of whether they are a child or an adult.
What’s the role of the parent?
From the first grade, it is important for the child to take responsibility for their own study. The parent’s role is to assist them.
Parents can facilitate their child’s independent study by ensuring the necessary conditions are in place. For example, providing a quiet, consistent space for study, setting a regular time each day for homework (preferably after school so the child can later engage in play and other age-appropriate activities), and minimizing distractions.
During study time, it is helpful for the parent to be nearby so that if the child gets stuck, they can assist. Also, it is advisable for parents not to correct the child’s work, allowing the teacher, who is responsible, to monitor the child’s progress and provide help where needed. The child might see the parent’s correction as a sign that they are not competent enough and become discouraged.
When the Child Asks for Our Help with Homework
When the child needs help during study time, it is better not to give them the answer directly but to help them find it, or to explain a rule that will aid them in their future work.
A child learns and progresses by overcoming difficulties on their own. When they manage to overcome an obstacle on their own, they gain confidence and faith in their ability to tackle the next challenge.
We cannot make someone study and learn. Learning is the result of personal will.